


What Are You Talking About? Iceman IS Batman.

by Pink_and_Velvet



Series: Writers Month: August 2019 [22]
Category: Batman (Movies 1989-1997), Top Gun (1986)
Genre: Arguing, Batman - Freeform, DC Film References, Dinner talk, Flash - Freeform, Fluff and Humor, General idiocy, Iceman is Batman, Idiots in Love, M/M, Staring match, Superheros, Superman - Freeform, lips, obviously, pointless banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-25 00:24:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20367580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pink_and_Velvet/pseuds/Pink_and_Velvet
Summary: When asked which superhero he was most like, Maverick just couldn’t picture Kazansky as the Caped Crusader. Of course, there’s no chance that he would win this argument.Writersmonth Day 24 Prompt:Superhero’s





	What Are You Talking About? Iceman IS Batman.

**Author's Note:**

> Just some fun from a little DC film nut. The classic ones, with the nipples and all. Why were they even a thing? *Holds head in hands, cursing Joel Schumacher.*

“So there’s no way in hell that you, Ice, could be Batman.”

He was met by a quizzical expression from Iceman as he abandoned twirling his spaghetti.

“You’re really one to bring up the most random and stupid-“

“-Ice, shut up. I just.. I don’t see it.”

“Who is so frightfully comparing me to Bruce Wayne?”

“Not Bruce, as such. Batman. Pure Batman.”

“_Maverick_.” Iceman sounded irritated.

Maverick hesitated. He leant forward and snatched the final piece of garlic bread, nibbled at it, to stall for time. Iceman just gaped at him, blonde eyebrows furrowed.

“The guys were just randomly chatting and beers were flowing-“

“-the usual idiocy then?”

“Yes. Now, shut up Kazansky. Then Hollywood goes, if we were all Superhero’s who would we be and I’m like, huh. I drunkenly settled on-“

“-_Flash_?”

Maverick couldn’t suppress his smile, even when he tried to hide it by taking a gulp of wine. He loved it and it grated on him immensely, that Iceman: could read him all over like an overly analysed, open book.

“Yeah, Iceman. Flash.”

“Too fast, too loud, zooming about all over the place and will never, ever, slow the hell down.” Iceman’s voice had dropped as he leant over the table, crowding Maverick. Getting into his space. “For _nobody_.” 

Maverick considered, chuckling. “Well, that’s where your wrong Lieutenant Ka-zan-sky.” He added extra unnecessary emphasis to each syllable, Iceman laughed beautifully, “There’s only one man, I may or may not.. _stop_ for.”

Iceman hummed his interest then downed some wine. He was flushed, his eyes sparkling as the blush settled across his well defined cheekbones.

“How remiss of you to believe that I, Thomas Kazansky, am incapable of pulling off the notorious _Caped Crusader_.” His tone was teasing yet still firm, Maverick was hanging onto every breath.

“_The Dark Knight_.. honestly Kazansky. I don’t know where you and Wolfman get it from. He and Hollywood both agreed on the same damn thing.”

“Maverick.”

“It’s not as though you’re stalking about, always perfectly ripped and ready for a fight.”

“Maverick.”

“To protect all of those around you, a true leader who swings about the town as nothing stops you in your tracks.”

“Mitchell.”

“You don’t even wear anywhere near enough black… or go kissing those who you save.”

“I saved _you_, didn’t I?”

Maverick took another sip, looking over at Iceman as he fiddled with his fork.

“From what?”

“Falling for the wrong person? Not getting blown out of the sky? Carrying on flying? Graduating with the rest of us? C’mon, Mitchell. That list is endless.”

Maverick’s cheeks coloured. Iceman smiled, a huge and inviting smile. It was melting Maverick from within, much more so than he’d like to admit. 

“What about the voice?”

“The.. shit. Don’t make me.”

“Ice.. I can’t believe any of this horse shit without hearing your best Batman voice. All stoic, unfeeling, way too low and gruff.”

Iceman just rolled his eyes then, he cleared his throat. He locked his piercing hazel gaze onto Maverick and throughout his words, his stare never wavered.

”_I’ll get drive through_.”

Maverick started laughing. “Of course you will. I’m a legit snack.”

His silken voice dropped even lower, more wretched and dominating, “_It’s_ _the_ _car_ _right? Dudes_ _love_ _the_ _car_.”

Maverick almost choked on his spaghetti. Iceman was right, that particular Bat mobile was pretty hot.

“_I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. Maverick, what am I?_”

He almost didn’t answer. His eyes had slipped shut as Maverick pictured it. Iceman in the cowl, perfectly plush lips being the only remnants of Kazansky that Maverick could fully identify. How Bruce Wayne would get away with anything with that mouth? The logic, it honestly flawed Maverick. Surely Mr Wayne would be recognised in an instant, right?

“_As blind as a.. bat_.” 

“Bat nipples.” Iceman coughed into his hand as Maverick’s laughed full and hearty.

“You’re lips give you away, Ice.”

“What do you mean? My lips can do incredible things Mitchell but, I’m afraid you’re just not being specific enough.” Iceman winked, his voice having returned to its usual silken drawl. 

“They are.. uh.. too, too-“

“-Inviting?”

“Prominent. But yes, Ice, that too.”

Iceman twirled his spaghetti, his eyes never leaving Maverick as he bought his fork to his lips. He could’ve sworn he parted his lips even slower than normal, licking them even more teasing than normal, then maybe or maybe not took in more of his fork than he needed too. Deeper into his throat. Maverick coughed. 

“But still. I can’t imagine _you_ romancing all these endless scores of beautiful women, who will just throw themselves at you and your tuxedoed ripped and muscled..” He was cut off by the harsh raise of Iceman’s eyebrows. “.. okay. Yes I can imagine that.”

“And throwing themselves at my.. _what_ Mitchell? What is it that you like, again?” He joked, as Maverick’s blush somehow darkened.

“Dammit.”

“Can you imagine using a grappling hook and clutching at my body, as we swing from building to building? You’re the girl, Mav.”

They both laughed as Maverick knew, Iceman had him there.

”Hands barely being able to clutch at my Bat-pecs but, you’ll try with might to still grip me through the suit and act like I can feel it?” Iceman chuckled, as he took another sip from his glass.

“Maverick. I _am_ Batman. Deal with it.” His laughter hadn’t truly died down, Iceman’s chest shook as he spoke.

“Can I at least be Robin?”

“My _junior partner? _Well, for starters you are the right height-“

“-Hey!” Maverick interjected.

“But you don’t have an earring. I’ll never understand that costuming choice.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand any of the 90s Batman’s.. Bat_men_?”

“Me neither. I’ll always be in favour of the classic black turtleneck, they’ll never go out of style. Also the glasses, without the frames.”

Maverick smiled and Iceman, met that smile with a huge grin of his own.

“Flash and Batman, huh? I really lucked out didn’t I, Ice?”

“Not really. You’re too small and idiotic to be Superman. At every turn, you’d throw yourself right into your Kryptonite-“

“-_You_?” Maverick was blunt, unthinking. 

Iceman’s eyes widened for a split second, then darkened. Predatory. As though the rest of his face was shielded with the cowl.

“Well, there isn’t a chance in hell I’d be Lois Lane here but yes, Mitchell, I’ll be your kryptonite.”

“_Dangerous_?” Maverick chuckled at the mock severity of Iceman’s tone. He leant in, taking Iceman’s hand in his own. He clutched at him, not at all nicely.

“Oh, most definitely. Your demise.”

Iceman responded in kind, a foot caressed up and down Maverick’s leg. Up higher and higher until he caught him in the- Maverick yelped.

“Can’t wait, Kazansky.”

“Bring it, Mitchell.”

The plates were discarded, the wine glasses forgotten.


End file.
